We all love a gift but loathe the effort! We at Spreadshirt towers did a quick internal survey and found out what people thought were the worst Christmas presents that they had ever received. Here’s what we came up with:
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Board game
“Some board games just take the jam out of the donut, and this one is most definitely one of them. It’s never nice to see all of your efforts scuppered in a single sweep of fate.” This is particularly true for peaceful afternoons spent with your folks by the fireplace. To prevent precious holiday time from being spoilt, we recommend that future editions should not be sold without an on-the-box warning informing “What starts out as a cheerful game can easily turn into a cauldron of spite and malice.”
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Bookends
In the past decade or so, we’ve all been witnessing the sad decline of the paper print industry. Some newspapers and journals have completely seized paper prints and are only available online, and most people under the age of 87 prefer the ease of devouring their favourite literature on a kindle, iPad and other electronic tablet. “So what would you do with a nice sailor bookend then?”
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USB rocket
“What a nightmare!” At first glance, we must admit it did sound like a good idea to give our CEO a USB rocket. But we underestimated the enthusiasm this little gadget would generate, and having used it once and wreaking havoc in the office, we can only suggest letting the idea of gifting remote controlled devices go for scrap.
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Plaintive potted plant
The sight of a plant in distress can bring a tear to the eye of any self-respecting person with green heart, and we at Spreadshirt do value the life of all of God’s creations. “Let the plants live, and don’t try to convert a botanic heathen by surprising him with a miniature cider tree that’s bound to go to waste!”
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Clown doll
You’d only need to give Stephen Kings‘ “IT” another watch to be reminded of how traumatic a scary clown encounter can be. And if you check out the wee dolly in the image, it becomes clear that the same is true for other clown dolls as well. “People, don’t creep out your children and look for nice surprises elsewhere!”
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Plastic animal sculptures
Some gifts just reek of the label “made artlessly in Bangladesh“, and this one we found to be one of the worst of its kind. ”A silver peacock made of plastic has to be the biggest atrocity you can bestow upon somebody you actually like, so you’d be best advised to keep your money in your pocket. Buy the person a pint instead!”
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German Christmas carol CD
It’s not as if everyone still owns a CD player or has a computer equipped with a DVD drive. But even if you can still avail yourself of such a 1990s device, the last thing you want to pester your ears with is a 1960s recording of german Christmas songs you don’t even like. And you know what – the same is true for anyone else. ”We recommend recording your own songs instead, and merry Christmas to all of you!”
